It’s scary to think that this little planet
of ours is already home to seven billion people. By 2050 make that nine
billion. Poor old earth is sinking under the strain, struggling to sustain
those of us already here. So how come one third of Americans are obese and
another third overweight, with the UK heading in a similar direction?
What’s to be done?
Well, here’s a radical suggestion. How
about putting a limit on individual BMI’s? Over 30 and you’re…er, chopped
liver. Would that we with or without onions, sir? Personal trainers would be a
thing of the past. Nothing like a little incentive—like staying alive—to focus
the mind.
Yep, anyone who let’s themselves go beyond
that limit should be food for the rest of us. Just think, a six foot man,
nicely rounded, could support a family of four for a week. Yum, yum. Factor in
the food he’ll no longer be eating himself and we’re already turning the tide.
They’ll be plenty of ribs, nice juicy breast, loads of fat thigh, flabby belly and
plenty of heart for all. Form an orderly queue now; there’s plenty for
everyone. Not too sure what we’ll find to chew on in the brain department but
there’s a downside to every arrangement.
What about the kids, I hear you ask? Podgy
little loves abound. They’re everywhere; have you noticed that? Seeing the
state of them is enough to put you off ever eating again. Still, I’m not totally
heartless, (pun intended). They’re not to blame for the junk they get away with
eating. Personally I think there’s nothing wrong with a clip round the ear to
remind a kid who’s boss. Bring back the birch—never did me any harm. But
allowing one’s chubby cherubs to gorge on stuff that will shorten their lives
considerably and make them unhappy by being permanently overweight for that
shortened lifespan—do you really want to know what goes into chicken nuggets?—well,
that really is child cruelty.
Answer, barbeque the parents on a slow spit
for just under two hours until golden brown, season well, add vegetables, a
good dollop of decent red and spices to taste…
Er, in case you’re wondering, I’m joking…I
think!
Happy New Year!
Wendy
Sounds like a remake of Logan's Run - Logan's Done (now carve to serve).
ReplyDeleteSounds like a remake of Logan's Run - Logan's Done (now carve to serve).
ReplyDeleteI posted this and then immediately worried that I'd offend people. Glad you took it in the spirit that it was meant!
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with your comments. It is really down to the parents to control what their kids eat from an early stage, but of course it is difficult to control once the kids are say teenagers and are out on their own, but they hopefully would be educated by then.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year