It’s scary to think that this little planet of ours is
already home to seven billion people. By 2050 make that nine billion. Poor old
earth is sinking under the strain, struggling to sustain those of us already
here. So how come one third of Americans are obese and another third overweight,
with the UK heading in a similar direction?
What’s to be done?
Well, here’s a radical suggestion. How about putting a limit
on individual BMI’s? Over 30 and you’re…er, chopped liver. Would that we with
or without onions, sir? Personal trainers would be a thing of the past. Nothing
like a little incentive—like staying alive—to focus the mind.
Yep, anyone who let’s themselves go beyond that limit should
be food for the rest of us. Just think, a six foot man, nicely rounded, could
support a family of four for a week. Yum, yum. Factor in the food he’ll no
longer be eating himself and we’re already turning the tide. They’ll be plenty
of ribs, nice juicy breast, loads of fat thigh, flabby belly and plenty of
heart for all. Form an orderly queue now; there’s plenty for everyone. Not too
sure what we’ll find to chew on in the brain department but there’s a downside
to every arrangement.
What about the kids, I hear you ask? Podgy little loves
abound. They’re everywhere; have you noticed that? Seeing the state of them is
enough to put you off ever eating again. Still, I’m not totally heartless, (pun
intended). They’re not to blame for the junk they get away with eating.
Personally I think there’s nothing wrong with a clip round the ear to remind a
kid who’s boss. Bring back the birch—never did me any harm. But allowing one’s
chubby cherubs to gorge on stuff that will shorten their lives considerably and
make them unhappy by being permanently overweight for that shortened lifespan—do
you really want to know what goes into chicken nuggets?—well, that really is child cruelty.
Answer, barbeque the parents on a slow spit for just under
two hours until golden brown, season well, add vegetables, a good dollop of
decent red and spices to taste…
Er, before you start berating me as a meanie, I’M ONLY
JOKING!!
Wendy
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